lots of things happening. over lunch today (or breakfast, rather, since it was at 1015) i called mom since i hadn't talked to her in a while, and she told me that adam wants to come home from southwestern for a semester, which i'm not all that surprised to hear. before christmas he'd told mom that he was feeling depressed, and he'd had a really rough semester with his shitty roommate and some hard classes. my first reaction was to feel incredibly guilty that i hadn't seen him more, like maybe if he felt like he'd had more support with john and i being right down the road maybe he would've had an easier time...i don't know if it would've changed his decision to go home, but i should've seen him more. anyway, i tried to text him and see if i can come up and see him tomorrow since i have the day off, but i can't get a hold of him now, which leads me to my next story...

after i texted him at lunch, i kept my phone in my pocket in case he texted back. the pants i'm wearing have those trouser-style angled pockets and as soon as i un-buttoned them to go pee, my phone plopped right in the toilet. i fished it out and tried to dry it off, but it's hopeless. now it's randomly beeping and vibrating, and in trying to get the water out from under the screen, i broke it in half. so now it's doubly broken. john's been wanting a new phone and we've both been wanting off of sprint, so maybe i can keep his phone and he can get the new one he's been wanting.

also, right now tippy is being hilarious with her little pink hippo. she won't ever chase it if i throw it, but she throws it for herself and it's hilarious.

so, today i was set up next to kelley in the drive through, and i always have such a good day when she's around. it's impossible to not be laughing and in a great mood when she's there. it's surprising how much we have in common given our ten year age difference. our husbands even sound like they're interested in the same stuff. he was a sound engineer before she got pregnant and they needed a steady income, and they picked the house they're in right now because the previous owners set it up for a home studio. so i guess what i'm saying is: it was a good day, despite the death of my phone.

work is, it is a lot of things. mostly it's tiring. mostly i think that's because i'm not used to being gone all day yet. this is my first full-time job, and i hear that takes some getting used to. it's challenging, but i'm picking it up quickly they say, and i'm leaps and bounds further along than the woman who started two days after me. it is frustrating dealing with nasty people, but really, really nice when someone appreciates what i'm doing. today, i deposited a check into the wrong checking account, and when the customer noticed she was so, so nice, said she saw how busy we were and didn't blame me. that felt good. she may have felt differently if i'd deposited it into a stranger's account as opposed to another one of her own accounts, but hey. she made me feel good. today also a woman came through the commercial lane to deposit a personal check, which we don't mind at all, but when the car in front of her in line was making a huge commercial cash deposit and she had to wait for ten minutes, she started honking and we could hear her yelling. when she got up to the window, ronda promptly told her that if she was in a hurry she shouldn't come through the commercial lane, then took her sweet time making the deposit. that is why i like ronda. also, when i try to sell something to someone, even if they shoot me down, ronda says, hey that was great, you did a great job. since i'm rambling a bit, i'll make a list:

things i like about my job: getting a paycheck, it's fast-paced most of the time, i have to use my brain, i like everyone i work with for the most part, talking to the nice customers, upgrading them to products they actually will benefit from, how the time flies by.

things i don't like about my job: selling things to people when i know they don't want to hear it (today jennifer had tag-lines she wanted us to use that tied in with it being "sports week" and i would rather die than tell a customer "how'd you like to pump up your finances," or say "flag on the play" to let a banker know that my customer needs to talk to them. so i didn't use the tag-lines. i still made my four sales.), working saturdays, being on my feet all the time, wearing stupid work clothes.

really, the only thing i hate is the sales bit. but now that i'm actually doing it, it's not so bad. it's not the actual talking to the customer that i don't like, because i do like the idea of looking out for the customers and seeing if they could upgrade their accounts or telling them how to pay their bills online--that's fine. it's the attitude of the managers surrounding the sales goals. i don't like "pushing" things or meeting quotas or making commitments, i don't like cheesy catch phrases or wording things so they can't say no. that part feels slimy to me. let's go team, let's make those sales! cheeks in the seats! 110%!! but if i can make it through that ten minute meeting every morning when the managers stress "making those sales goals, pushing those financial reviews," then i can get through the rest of the day, do my thing, and go home.

ok, but overall, i like it. it's not a career, it's a job, and it's not a bad one.

it's 8:22 am, and i don't have to be at work until 9:15, but i'm all dressed and ready to walk out the door because i woke up before my alarm went off and figured i might as well shower. i have tippy on my lap, trying to get in some quality time before i have to leave, and it's really funny because she keeps sliding around on my dress pants. i'm still not totally sure if i've figured out how i'm supposed to dress, so i'm erring on the dressy side for now. hopefully we'll talk about that today, and all the other stuff i should have learned yesterday. anyway. i miss john. especially right now, because for once i'm awake when he would have been and he's not here. getting dressed and getting ready for bed are the worst. i say this like he's been gone for weeks, but it's just been since sunday. i can make it til thursday night, but he'd better not be doing this again any time soon. oh wait, he's going to houston next week. but that should just be one night.

i woke up with a stupid headache this morning, and my eyes are kind of puffy. it can't be from lack of sleep, because i fell asleep at 1030 and slept straight through til 645. i think the headache is related to my sinuses, which may be why coffee is helping some, but would that make my eyes puffy?

i had a truly bizarre dream last night. i had accepted a job working at some company that shared office space with waggener-edstrom, so i was super excited about getting to see john everyday. for some reason i showed up on the first day with a bunch of clothes on hangers, and when i went to go to the bathroom to change, they made me check in first...there were two people sitting at the sign-in desk in front of the bathroom, and one of them happened to be johnny depp. weird. also weird, in the dream he had lived right across the street when i was a kid and he had babysat us all the time. but when i went to say hello, he shook his head like i shouldn't talk to him, and later he took me aside to tell me that no one knew who he was there, and he wanted to keep it that way, so i shouldn't give it away that he's an actor. he also didn't let me in the bathroom, along with another girl. then my manager, who happened to be jan from the office, told both of us to write paragraphs on why we thought we couldn't get into the bathroom. what is all that supposed to mean??

now it's 8:40, so i'm gonna get going. see you!

what a day. last night was interesting, i couldn't sleep much from the combination of john being gone and today being my first day of work. the bed was too big to look at, so i put a towel over the comforter and let tippy sleep up there. she did really well, way better than i expected. she stayed on the towel, didn't try to climb on me, and i slept really soundly (once i got to sleep) until she started scratching at about 645. this morning i woke up too early, and i got to the HR office ten minutes early, and i was the last one there. there were three other new hires there, and we all filled out paperwork for about an hour. i noticed on my official hire letter that they had put down "north austin" as the location instead of oak hill, which was odd. then when i got to the oak hill store, they told me that both service managers were out for the day, and that they weren't expecting me to get there til wednesday. also, they kept calling me amy. turns out there is an amy who's starting on wednesday, but they forgot about me. so since the service managers weren't there, there was no one to start the whole orientation process, so they sat me down at one of the desks by the motor bank, and told me to observe. so i observed. i read some informational packets. and i watched a video about robbery. and that was my first day of work. tomorrow they will be back and i can actually start this whole thing. oh well.

i think i'm still hungry. also, i'm really curious about this new movie called teeth. and we saw sweeney todd recently, and i dug it. people kept saying it was gorey, but i guess in my head gorey involves guts and mangled bodies, so to me it was just bloody. and it looked like they made an effort to have the blood not look quite real, a little orange and an odd consistency, which is maybe what people have been meaning by "artistic blood." anyway, i liked it. i still want to see there will be blood, and no country for old men, and probably some others.

alright, i'm going to chill out and probably fall asleep before ten.

i just dropped john off at the airport, and he will be gone from now until late thursday night, which means four and a half nights away, which means i am lonely. maybe i'm feeling it more because we're just coming off of the holidays, when we got to spend about two weeks together nonstop, no work or anything. and even when he is at work, normally we can chat during the day online when he gets a break and i'm not doing anything. i'm not expecting to be able to talk to him much while he's gone, because he'll be busy driving people around and setting things up and avoiding strip clubs.

and speaking of work, i start my new job tomorrow at wells fargo. working for a bank is not something i ever pictured myself doing, but it's a job where my hours will be the same as john's and it's maybe better than being a receptionist. i tried looking for something that would actually interest me, like answering phones at the birth center or helping out a midwife, but no one needs any help. i thought about getting DONA certified, but if i'm going to do that i want to wait until i'm a bit older and people will take me seriously. anyway, i'm excited about working and making money and not sitting around all day doing nothing. for some reason they placed me at the branch in oak hill instead of the branch right across the street, even though they were both hiring. whatever.

the weather is good, the apartment is messy, the dog is tired and dirty, my skin and hair and nails are good for the first time ever, i'm doing well, i am healthy.

2007 has been some year for me, so I'll do an end of the year survey.

1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before? got married, graduated from college, other things also.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? i didn't make one last year, and i probably won't this year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? no, but my sister-in-law is pregnant.

4. Did anyone close to you die? yes, my grandma.

5. What countries did you visit? none.

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007? a job. i'm working on it.

7. What date(s) from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? march 1. the entire month of june, everything leading up the the wedding on the 30th. the first week of july, our honeymoon. december 8, when i graduated. october 16.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? graduating, i suppose that's a big achievement.

9. What was your biggest failure? i don't think i've done much failing this year, and it's hard to anyway when you've got someone keeping your eyes open and your heart warm.

10. Did you suffer any illness or injury? no, nothing worth mentioning really. i threw up last night.

11. What was the best thing you bought? the dress that i wore on valentine's day, the curtains in our living room, my wedding dress, all of the records, who could choose.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? it seems like mine did, a couple of times, or ours, rather.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? normally this is where i would mention my dad, but he's been nothing but generous and downright pleasant for a really long time now.

14. Where did most of your money go? rent.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? what didn't i get excited about??!

16. What song will always remind you of 2007? "our love is here to stay" as performed by emily gimble, obviously.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? so much happier.
ii. thinner or fatter? they keep saying thinner.
iii. richer or poorer? richer, although it wasn't until very recently that i would feel comfortable saying that.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of? exercising, visiting grandma bobbie, reading.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of? messing around on the internet. it'll suck you right in.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? with all of the three families.

22. Did you fall in love in 2007? yes, every single day.

23. How many one-night stands? zero.

24. What was your favorite TV program? the office.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? no.

26. What was the best book you read? moderato cantabile, by marguerite duras, or the age of reason, by sartre, and i'm really, really liking atlas shrugged, by ayn rand, although i'm less than halfway through and have no hope of finishing by the end of this year.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? i don't have any idea. i've been listening to the new stuff of old favorites.

28. What did you want and get? all of it. an engagement ring, a perfect wedding, a couple great semesters, such a great husband.

29. What did you want and not get? nothing. maybe something like an iphone or a new tv, but i didn't want those things real bad anyway.

30. What was your favorite film of this year? 3:10 to yuma. the darjeeling limited. superbad. eastern promises.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? i turned 22 and i'm pretty sure i went out to dinner, but wasn't there something else?

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? what more satisfaction could anyone possibly wish for?

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007? oh, i don't know. lots of solids, dark wash jeans and flats. i cut my bangs straight, that was pretty fashionable of me.

34. What kept you sane? everything.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? oh i don't know.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? the same ones as always.

37. Who did you miss? all of the family we didn't see enough of, the friends i don't see as much of anymore.

38. Who was the best new person you met? i don't think i met anyone new who has stuck.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007: being in love is easier than you want to make it.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

you right in front of me
now i can clearly see
all your greatness
but it separates this
from what i ever heard
you've been holding me like a bird
in your heart and
you've kept it guarded
now that i clearly see
you standing next to me
my loneliness has finally found an ending

i can't believe
that you're such a part of me
and after all this time
you got through
with your loving ways
and these have been the kindest days
that i've known since i met you

oh a love that gets underneath my skin
it goes in and shows me the things i've been missing
all i know is i want it now
i think about the days when i won't feel pain.

this has been a year of changes, really good changes, those kinds of things where you relatives tell you, "starting a new chapter!" getting married, obviously, was one of those. i suppose i did things a little out of order, because normally you send out graduation announcements before wedding invitations, but you know. i'm graduating (or being graduated?) a week from this saturday, then i'll find some sort of job. i'm waiting right now to hear from a woman i might be nannying for. or for her son, rather. it would be very part time, but it's a place to start.

i have to say, married life has not disappointed. i kept hearing and reading that couples tend to hit a rough spot right after the wedding, because the excitement of planning the wedding is over, and afterwards they're bored and don't have anything to look forward to. it's been five months now, and i [we] haven't felt that at all. i'm excited to be married! the ceremony was great, but i don't think that was ever what i was looking forward to. it's just been really, really good and we're really, really happy and i only see things getting better.

i intended for this to be longer, but i need to go hole up somewhere and write a paper about love according to camus, sartre, and beckett. hurray for existentialism!

today is tuesday, which means we move in three days. john's taking thursday off of work so we can pack and get our keys from the complex, then on friday we have movers coming (thanks to john's dad) to haul all our stuff to our new place! we've sold off just about all of our furniture, so right now i'm sitting on a pillow on the floor, next to the two boxes we've packed so far. today i think i'm going to tackle the desk in the bedroom, so hopefully it will be clutter-free enough to take a picture of and post on craigslist before we move.

we have a wii! on sunday mom, john and i went to home depot to get a new shower head, and since it was in the same shopping center as a circuit city, we stopped in there to see if, by some miracle, the had wiis in stock. they had sold out that morning, but the salesman was really nice and told us that the brodie lane and slaughter stores still had several. since it was closing time, we couldn't go down there right away, but we felt good about our chances of there still being some if we got there when they opened monday morning. john had to go to work, but mom and i met up and drove down there. there were maybe five other people waiting outside the doors, and i thought for sure they were all there for wiis, because who waits outside circuit city for the doors to open? but we were the only ones! we asked a salesman if they had them, and he was very confident when he told us no, they didn't. mom explained how their computer shows that they have them in stock, and so he suggested we ask customer service. the woman up there also looked extremely skeptical, but when she asked the guy next to her he said yeah, we have four. hurray! john was sooo excited, and when he got home we went to wal-mart for accessories and games.

i hate the sound of sandpaper!

well. this complex we're living in right now is supposed to be demolished in september. the last day of residency is aug 31, and we're moving out on the 24th. lots of people have already moved out. apparently the demo process started this morning at 7, right across the pool, with lots of hammers and shouting. i didn't get out of bed until 915, but i've definitely been awake since 7.

we're trying this wet food thing again with tippy. we got some to take home to my dad's because those little cans are easier to travel with than a whole bag of dry food, and when we fed it to her she scarfed it down like her life depended on it, probably because of the other dogs. for the rest of the day she just looked miserable, her belly was all distended, and that night she diarrheaed in her kennel. yikes. so i'm thinking it was too much too soon, but she obviously liked it and she's the pickiest eater in the world, so we're doing it again today. but mixing it with her normal dry food. so hopefully she won't explode.

I CANNOT WAIT TO MOVE

right now though, i should shower.

it was a good weekend. whenever we drive home it feels like less of a weekend, but it was still fun. friday we stayed in austin and had dinner with mom and bishop. before dinner, while john was still at work, mom and bishop and i drove around burnet browsing around antique stores. they drove home that night instead of going to the norml benefit concert, then saturday morning john and i went to sign our lease! this whole process has been unbelievably exciting. who thought i would ever enjoy moving? but looking at places together, deciding together what's important to us, and signing a lease with my new last name has been incredible. i can't wait to get in there and start picking out furniture together and making it ours!

anyway, after we signed our lease we packed up an overnight bag and tippy and headed out to the woodlands to celebrate my dad's birthday. this was the first time we've ever stayed the night at his house; we usually stay at either my mom's or john's parents'. tippy was freaked out by the big dogs. when cara got home sunday afternoon she took tippy up to her room and dressed her up in clothes from a build-a-bear bear. i like spending time at dad's house, it's more low-key and relaxed than mom's. christine loves to chat and get caught up with everything that's going on, and that's about all we did.

time to do laundry. awesome.